Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in awhile, or the light won’t come in.

– Alan Alda

So, it goes like this.

Flat B calls Flat A on the ‘phone.

“Hi – just a quickie. Someone’s been sick all down the hallway and I didn’t want you to think it’s anything to do with me! It’s those guys in Flat C again. I’m gonna speak to the agents and get it sorted.”

“I’d never think it was you guys. Thanks and yik!”

The resident of Flat A decides to go out a few hours later, and taking advantage of the apparent lack of sick on the staircase, and the hallway’s excellent acoustics, decides to belt out a song or two. Or three. Almost at the bottom of the stairs,  hears a door open. Argh! It must be the sicky people in Flat C! There is suddenly much flustered clattering of cleaning utensils. Oops – must have woken them from their hungover slumber with my singing (yes, for it is I!)! And so A creeps ever so gently on tiptoe out of the building, closing the door very, very quietly.

Many hours later, A comes back. The stairs smell of scented disinfectant and the lights are on in Flat B. So, in solidarity, A knocks on the door and is invited in. The subject, of course, is The Sick. The tale unfolds, full of gaps and suppositions, until B says,

“And to cap it all, do you know what? That b****dy woman in Flat C had the gall – the nerve – to stand in the hallway, SINGING. High on drugs, most probably. High as a bleeding kite.”

“Err – that was me …And so, was it you cleaning noisily?”

“Very angrily indeed.”

“Oh- I thought it was C!”

“I thought you were C…”

Whether C will ever show their face again (or escape without a lynching) is yet to be seen….I wonder who was actually sick?