Better start rushing before the rush begins!– Ashleigh Brilliant

Disorganisation. It’s not an objective state of being – it’s a feeling. And I’ve got it now and need to talk myself out of it. It’s also time-driven: I see a deadline upon me, like an encroaching horizon, and before I reach it (and I’m being propelled; this ‘motion towards’ is not of my own volition), I have to gather and plant a million things in the right place. Or else…? Or else It All Goes Wrong.

So I try to negotiate: there are my Wants and my Obligations. And I suppose I can move some Obligations into the Not Urgents.…but can I ? So then I’ve created another mental folder of mess and doom, called Maybe I Can Get Away with It. And this folder is very tempting, but There Be Dragons. It gleams and shines, like a false Holy Grail and I daren’t trust it.

Ah, but then….chaos. I feel chaotic. And that can only be good, creative, exciting. Which has just injected a stream of peace into the game: how interesting. Because if the sense of chaos can be harnessed, then everything gets richer. It’s about letting the Organising part of the brain cede control. And in chaos, there is natural beauty! Left brain, right brain…So. Enough writing about it; time to do it….

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