I thought of that old joke, y’know, the, this, this guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doc, uh, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken.” And, uh, the doctor says, “Well, why don’t you turn him in?” And the guy says, “I would, but I need the eggs.” Well, I guess that’s pretty much how I feel about relationships. Y’know, they’re totally irrational and crazy and absurd and, but, uh, I guess we keep going through it because, uh, most of us need the eggs.

– Woody Allen, Annie Hall

The Imp just nipped into the mother & babies showing of Annie Hall, sans bebe. And thought she’d record some classic lines of our own times.

A wedding reception. Two women guests are speaking, friends through the husband of one of them.

1: So, how’s life? Going well?

2: OK.
1: Yeah?
2: But –
1: But what? What is it? What do you want from life?
2: I want what you’ve got.
1: Oh? What, you want to… work in campaigning?
2: No – I want what you’ve got. Your husband.
1: Oh. Oh,look. You’ve spilt your drink down my dress. It’s silk.
2: Oh, dear. Sorry.

A Marxist philosophy student tells his girlfriend about his new tutor: “You see, the problem with him is that he is just such a misogynistic cunt.”

One woman to another: “She treats him like shit. She stands him up, ignores him when she’s with him, doesn’t give a fuck about his problems. Mind you, it’s probably the closest he’ll ever get to a girlfriend.”

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